Why Am I On Here?

This is the question, Why I have I chosen to type about my life, about what makes me a little different then the majority of the other moms out there. Why am I airing my secrets, my private moments, my inane thoughts. I am doing it in an effort to curb the effects, both positive and negative, of what I call my “DI Mom Madness”.

My goal is to type without remorse and without editing my thoughts.  As I type this last sentence I realize I have already erased approximately 4 of my spontaneous thoughts fearing they may offend, obviously I will have to work on this.

So what is it I want to put out there, what is it I want to rant about on this, my first post?  I think it is more of a question, that I will let linger out there and that is:

Why is that there is so much judgement within the infertility/fertility community?  We are all trying to achieve the same goal, having children.  Why then do we turn on each other for the choices we make when working towards this goal? I know, I know, ethics, politics, who deserves it and who doesn’t are just some of the debates, and yes we live in a world with unregulated fertility systems, where one country allows a procedure that another does not……..but if I start down this road I could be here all night….I have to revert back to my first question….Why do we judge each other?????????

I am a DI mom, I am 37, and my husband and I chose an anonymous donor……I am judged for my choices.  Not just because I chose anonymous, but because I chose a donor at all.  Why not adopt, why not accept a life without children, why, why, why…….Why be so selfish?


39 year old Mom to 3 DI babies, ages 2 and 1 year old twins.

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Azoospermia, BGM9581, DI, DI Baby, DI Child, DI Dad, DI Grandparents, DI Mom, DI Parents, DI Siblings, DI Story, facebook, Infertility, IVF, Loss of Baby after Infertility, Male Infertility, OHIP, Sperm Donor, Sperm Donor BGM 9581
2 comments on “Why Am I On Here?
  1. Welcome to blogging! I am also a DI mom (13 month old son) due to azoospermia. As far as I know I haven’t been judged for my choice and it really sucks if you have been. Not many people IRL know about our use of donor sperm, but I’ve received mostly positive feedback about our choice from the IF community. I’m sure there are those that disagree with our choice, but so far they’ve kept it to themselves!

    I’m looking forward to reading your blog because there aren’t that many of us out there. I’m PWP, but if you are interested in reading my blog you can e-mail me at
    somewhatordinary at gmail dot com.

    Again, welcome to blogging and congrats on your daughter!

    • Allison Mae says:

      Thanks for the welcome. The judgement has come not so much from family or friends, it has come from meeting other individuals who are involved in all different aspects of infertility and genetic technologies, etc. It just shocks me that they are willing to apply so much pressure in order for me to make the choices they have made OR the choices they wished they had made. Don’t get me wrong there certainly are some super amazing people who I have had the pleasure of coming across. I do not know anyone personally who is currently at the same stage I am at with DI, most of the women I have met face to fachave DI kids who are in the 20’s.

      I agree that we are few and far between as far as bloggers on this topic. I admit I had hesitation in regards to what my husband would think, after all he is the one who had the direct problem with infertility and men are not as forth coming with their personal issues as women tend to be. He has reassured me that he is behind me and if I need to write about this and connect with others that is something I should do. I wonder if perhaps that is a reason why there are not many people blogging about DI/Male Factor infertility in comparison to those blogging about IVF/Female infertility? Just a thought

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Allison Rouble’s Blog (my other blog) where I talk all things ‘Kids and Crazy’

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