Panic Attack

This past weekend has been my first as an out and open DI Mom.  I have delved into the world of social networking with a blog, a Facebook page and a twitter account.  I am slowly navigating my way around and blabbing away about my story.  I was feeling amazing and empowered over the past 3 days.  I felt like I could not be stopped, as if the driving force behind me was powered by a million horses…..and then came this morning.  I woke up in a panic, had I just made a horrible mistake?  Letting anyone who wishes to know in on our little family dynamic?  I felt sick to my stomach all morning, and I went through the day with my head in a fog thinking about my choices and decisions.  Then all the babes fell asleep and I was finally able to sit quietly with my thoughts and rethink why I had made this leap into the public forum, and all the conviction that I felt when I started this 3 days ago came hammering down on me like a tidal wave.  I am doing the right thing, I am getting this done, I am being myself and for the first time in my life I am not letting fear conquer me.  Fingers crossed!!!!!

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39 year old Mom to 3 DI babies, ages 2 and 1 year old twins.

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Posted in Azoospermia, BGM9581, Canada, Christmas and Canada, DI, DI Baby, DI Child, DI Dad, DI Grandparents, DI Mom, DI Parents, DI Siblings, DI Story, facebook, Infertility, IVF, Loss of Baby after Infertility, Male Infertility, OHIP, Sperm Donor, Sperm Donor BGM 9581, Uncategorized
5 comments on “Panic Attack
  1. Hang on in there Allison, we’ve been ‘out’ for 28 years and it’s been absolutely fine. Most importantly, all our kids are proud of being part of such an open family.

  2. Allison Rouble says:

    Thanks Olivia, I needed to hear that!

  3. Kandi Martynyshyn says:

    Wow Allison, you are a fantastic writer; I have so enjoyed reading your blog.
    For what it’s worth, I commend you for making this decision. I’m sure any negative feedback you receive (for idiots who don’t understand what you’ve been though) will be better than having all your feelings locked up.
    Your children are amazing and you are a wonderful mother; in my opinion, that’s all that matters.

    • Allison Rouble says:

      Kandi thanks so much for the comment, it really does boost me up to read comments form people who support me. Thanks for the kudos about my writing, my mommy abilities and my kids. See ya soon!

  4. Bowing says:

    If the birth of a true miracle occurs no matter how conceived an the little angel feels the love of the family, isn’t that the main deal?! For those that frown and have a negative opinion on creation, please take your opinionated body down to a welfare office and discuss your opinion to those mothers that keep creating and have no income to look after their babies. You sound like you have a loving family and to a stranger the question should be to yourself. ” does that stranger feel the love between me and my children?”. I dont think the queation is ” i wonder if they are a product of DI”.
    In our lives I feel we get wrapped up in the matters that mean less at the end of the day. Chin up and be proud is what I say.

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GENdMOM
Allison Rouble’s Blog (my other blog) where I talk all things ‘Kids and Crazy’

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